I have this really bad personality trait. I want things and I need things for myself to, you know, stay sane in my life. But I don’t ask for them. I know it’s a fault. I get told so very often that if I need something just to say so. Then other people know and can help me. This falls into all different areas of my life. I don’t like to feel like I have to ask for things in order for them to happen. I guess it all comes down to, in my mind, feeling like people are genuinely doing something they want to if they offer. Otherwise I am just putting them out and I hate that. Hate it. I know it’s not always the case. Sometimes people just don’t know or don’t think of it and would be happy to help once they know that I want or need something.

This happens a lot with hubby and I. I go weeks and week without a moment to myself and then I end up resenting that he never does anything to help me or to give me space. I know he doesn’t think of it on his own. He thinks if I need it, I’ll just take the time for myself. Again, though, I feel like I am putting him out to do that without him offering. I have to get over this, I know. Or else I’ll go more insane than I already am.

So today, when hubs called from work on his lunch break, I asked if he would mind taking the kids to the playground for a while when he got home. I thought he’d mumble and grumble like I am uber bitch of the universe for asking. Astonishingly, he was happy to do so. He got home, took a  shower and headed out with both of them.

For 2 blissful hours, I had the house to myself. I did my cardio pilates DVD which has, embarrassingly, been in it’s wrapper until today even though I bought it like 2 weeks ago. Before the actual exercises started, there was a little blurb about how I was going to learn to strengthen my core muscles, feel more energetic and lose weight. Fabulous! Sign me up! I need all of those things! I got my butt kicked by that DVD. For 50 minutes I did those exercises. I was actually quite proud that for never having done pilates before, I did every move in the DVD and I actually felt the proper muscles being worked. In my favor, I’ve done yoga a lot and they’re quite similar. The good news is that I am not in as bad of shape as I thought but the bad news is I am very far from being able to touch my toes. Oh well, maybe next week.

I did my DVD, then curled up with a glass of wine and a magazine, chatted online for a bit and just overall had a relaxing afternoon. Hubby and the kids got home and none of them wanted anything to do with me. Apparently they started this “we went to the playground together” exclusive club.

I forgot how much just a little me time recharges me, makes me more energized and ready to plug in with my family. It is draining day in and day out just me and the kids from the moment I wake until nearly the moment I go to bed. Today though was different and I liked it!

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